


Hella Gay and Desperately Single

by AppleCherry108



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleCherry108/pseuds/AppleCherry108
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was inspired by a tumblr post, which can be found here http://applecherry108.tumblr.com/post/57408523148/brolininthetardis-this-is-a-coffeeshop-au</p></blockquote>





	Hella Gay and Desperately Single

It was too amusing to pass up. Roxy had just been walking down the street, on her way to pick up a new game that came out. Call her old fashioned but it’s shit like this that made not pre-ordering everything online worth it.  
  
Outside a quaint little coffee shop was a chalkboard sign, but in place of a menu there was just a stick figure drawn on it. “Today your barista is 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. For your drink today I recommend: You give me your number.” It made Roxy laugh so hard she just stood outside the cafe for a good full minute with her hand clasped over her mouth trying to muffle snorts before deciding it was definitely worth it to see who the genius behind this masterpiece was.

  
  
So she went in and was dismayed to find two baristas working the counter. Neither of which were a hot lady, either. Roxy hesitated, rocking back and forth on her heels indecisively. She had forgotten if she came in here to shoot the breeze with a sassy gay coffee guy or legitimately hit on a girl. She cautiously approached the counter.  
  
The taller boy came over to her with a big cheesy smile typical of those working against their will in the service industry. He was super cute, though, which didn’t really help Roxy make up her mind on just what exactly she was doing here in the first place. To make matters worse, she had no idea what anything on the menu meant. Grande espresso? Double mocha latte? What the heck is all this junk? Wasn’t coffee just coffee? Black, sugar, cream, that’s it. It’s not supposed to be complicated.  
  
"You ready to order?" It didn’t sound impatient at all. It was 3 o’clock on a Tuesday afternoon and the only other customer in the cafe was holed up in a corner rifling through the film section of a newspaper. At least she knew she wasn’t wasting his time.  
  
"Actually," Roxy decided to come clean rather than try to order some sort of coffee contraption, lest she accidentally summon a demon from hell with all those ridiculous names. "I’m only here because of the sign." She smiled sheepishly for the barista who just chuckled to himself.  
  
"Oh, _that_ ,” apparently it was some kind of joke, “that vwas Dirk’s idea.” He nodded over to the other barista, who was pretending to take stock of some cups while trying not very hard to hide the way he strained his neck staring at the guy with the newspaper.  
  
Roxy giggled. “Oh, so that’s Hella Fucking Gay and Desperately Single?”  
  
The barista burst out laughing. “No, he’s just Hella Fucking Gay. _I’m_ Desperately Single.” Roxy bit back a grin at how unbelievably adorable and dorky this guy was.  
  
"Well, Desperately Single," she squinted at his name tag, "or should I say Cronus? How about you make me some coffee?"  
  
He grinned back at her. “Sure thing, vwhat can I get you?”  
  
She made an over exaggerated shrug in response. “Whatever _you_ like.”  
  
He laughed and said, “Coming right up.” As he prepared some sort of foamy blended drink with a mountain of whipped cream on top, Roxy dug around in her bag.  
  
"Here we go," he brought the tower of purple iced stuff over carefully, making sure the whipped cream didn’t topple over, "one vwenti vwhite mocha cream Frappuccino vwith a pump of raspberry and two scoops of jawva chips."  
  
Roxy blinked, a quiet laugh escaping her lips, trying to digest the new information. “Cool,” she replied and took the cup from him. She pulled the pen she had been searching for out of her bag and started to write on the cup, wearing a tongue-pressed look of concentration. She handed the cup back to Cronus. “Here you go! My treat.” She grinned for him.  
  
He laughed and muttered quietly to himself, “‘Vwhatever _you_ like,’ huh?” He smiled at her, surprised to see her heading for the door. “Hey, vwhere you going?”  
  
"I’ve got stuff to do, but you should def give me a call sometime." She waved and was gone, lost in the crowd of passersby.  
  
Cronus was left befuddled until he looked down at the cup. On it, Roxy had scrawled out her name and number. Cronus absolutely beamed as he took a sip.  
  
She took his recommendation after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post, which can be found here http://applecherry108.tumblr.com/post/57408523148/brolininthetardis-this-is-a-coffeeshop-au


End file.
